Mars discordant to Neptune
(power = 4.79 and this aspect is discordant = -5.99)
This placement can be difficult due to a tendency towards escapism from daily life and the responsibility that comes with it. Substance abuse may also be prevalent and must be watched for or it can destroy you. The mundane ins and outs of the daily routine bore you and you crave a way to be a part of a fantastical enterprise, where you can couple idealism with your imaginative mind. If you are not able to find an outlet for this, you will be unable to discipline yourself to perform the duties that you are responsible for. Others depend on you yet you often disappoint them. This causes people to view you negatively and disassociate themselves from you in the future. It might prove challenging for you to decipher what is real from what is not; living half-way in a dream-like state is typical for you. It is imperative that you find a way to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground or you will sink. Perhaps you do not feel at home here in the physical realm and are more comfortable in the spiritual one, but you are here now and must do your best to gain wisdom from the situations you encounter. All of us exist in this world for that very reason and you are no exception. Instead of being lost in the fantasy, pay attention and do what you need to.
If you are able to focus and discipline yourself, you just might be able to achieve the fantasy you so strive for. A pyramid was not built in a day, and neither is the kind of life that you dream of. Artistic and creative ventures will allow you to express the pent up feelings you harbour deep down from all of the responsibilities that drag you down in daily life. Your imaginative abilities can create something truly epic, if only you can keep yourself centred in reality and restrain yourself enough to work practically until your vision is realised.
Selfish endeavours are not appealing to you and you would rather devote your time to something that will be beneficial on a grand scale; this will give you a sense of purpose. Climbing the social or corporate ladder may not be for you as you do not possess the qualities competitive, confrontational qualities that often drive others to the top. There is also a habit of deeming yourself either far more capable than you are, or undervaluing yourself. Deceit and delusion are themes in your life, whether they come from other people, or from your own insecurities. People may try to take advantage of your helpful and caring nature, so be mindful that you do not fall prey to every John that tells you a sad tale. Keep in mind that although it would be amazing if you could protect the world from evil all on your own, it is highly unlikely; you can, however, look out for yourself, which will take a lot of effort as it is.
You tend to become overly dependent in your romantic involvements or your partner may be overly dependent on you, and there is a likelihood of either sacrificing too much of yourself to somehow save them or to go the other extreme and act as though they are victimising you. However, it is imperative that you comprehend that when a partnership is not equal, it is not a partnership at all and will not succeed in the end.
This placement can intensify abrasive, sensory, rash, irritable, demanding, and indulgent traits as well as verbal and physical dramaticism. You often follow whichever path your desires steer you towards. Spirituality for you may either go towards being very devoted to your religion, or the exact opposite route, Atheism. However, you seem to embody a bit of a chaotic nature and must learn self-restraint.
You are gifted but are not confident in your capabilities and question whether you are worthy. Your insecurities are masking reality and you need to start believing in yourself. Your lesson is to overcome whatever is keeping you from developing the self-confidence you need to succeed in the areas that you are most talented. Try not to let failing at something deter you from trying again; everyone makes mistakes and this does not make you any less worthy or capable. Keep Trying. When you are feeling insecure, you will start blaming others for your mistakes until you believe the lies yourself. However, what is true never stays hidden for long and in the end when it comes out, you will experience depression; best to be upfront. You should look at each failed attempt as a way to learn and grow, to become stronger and more capable in the future. Your disappointments will aid you in developing self-discipline and a higher spirituality, as will displaying selfless acts of kindness towards others.
Use caution with others as they may not be the person they project themselves as. It is possible that hidden adversaries from a previous life will turn up in this one to administer the karma you deserve. Though you may be tempted, try to keep from participating in unwholesome mystical practices, calling on dark spirits, and similar endeavours. Deep down you feel a strong pull towards being completely genuine and truthful towards other people and your own self.